Post by p***@netzero.comMe and Bob had like this very same IM session back in '07!!!!!
http://youtu.be/QZs6kcSYuk8
Our was a LOT more lewd and raunchy though,and ended with my computer
monitor a sticky mess! Speaking of lewd and raunchy...
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son,
daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really
amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little
too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want
to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
"First I come out, wearing a tuxedo, playing Brahms. Just as the music
reaches a crescendo, my wife in an evening gown runs on stage and
undresses me before dancing provocatively on top of the piano.
Just as I finish playing the song with my cock, my wife strips and does
a backflip off the piano in a split on stage. Once her naked ass hits
the floor, my 7 year old daughter and 13 year old son rush on stage
juggling flaming lawn darts. My wife does a handstand and catches the
lawn darts in her cunt, she then manages to queef them out, making her
the third part of this juggling act.
The queefs force her to squeeze out a few turds, which I eagerly start
smearing on my naked body, which arouses me quickly. Once I'm fully
aroused my daughter and son take turns blowing me while my wife straps
on a monstrous dildo and begins reaming each child while i ejaculate in
the eyes of my offspring.
Once I cum, I run into the audience, shit-covered body still sticky with
cum and grab my parents and in-laws to involve them into the act. I
strip them all nude and instruct them to start a circle jerk while
screaming racial slurs. So my mother and father-in-law start screaming,
"Fuck the niggers" while mutually masturbating, and my father and
mother-in-law begin diddling one another and chanting, "I hate spics and
jews!" Once they reach a geriatric climax, my wife uses their ejaculate
to lube up her fist which she uses to start fisting me.
As my asshole is violated, I start playing double dutch with my kids,
and once they get tangled in the ropes, start a torrid 69. All the
sucking and slurping cause my in-laws and parents to get aroused again
and they start sodomizing and fisting one another.
My wife at this point has completely started dry-heaving, so she vomits
all over my ass and my back. I line up each of my family members who
take turns licking the chunks of spew off my back and out of my ass.
By now my children have to defecate so I tell them to shit in each
other's favorite orifices. My son, ever the trooper takes a thick, dense
shit in his sister's vagina while my daughter shits in my son's nose.
My young daughter also conveniently starts her menstrual cycle shortly
thereafter, and the menses and boy-shit in her cunt make for great lube,
as each of my in-laws begin fucking my daughter. My son, blinded in
shit, heads back to the piano and does his best Stevie Wonder impression
while my wife runs back into the audience to grab a toddler from the crowd.
She begins stuffing this child into her vagina, while my parents begin
screaming how she's possessed by Satan and start performing a nude
exorcism on her. The power of christ compels them to kill the toddler,
which also makes it easier to cram into my wife's lovehole.
By now, I'm so horny and aroused that I start fucking the dead baby
inside my wife while my young son starts licking my asshole and
fingering his paternal grandparents. My in-laws finish abusing my
daughter and start wrestling each other, which culminates in a huge
powerbomb through the piano bench. The impact shatters my
mother-in-law's hips, leaving her crippled.
The strain of the throw caused my father's bad heart to seize, and he
collapses in a heap on the stage. As he gurgles and foams at the mouth,
my daughter runs over and begins rubbing her shit covered pussy lips all
over my crippled mother-in-law.
My wife grabs the wooden shards of the piano bench and begins playing
her father's dying body like a xylophone. My son pulls his tongue out of
my asshole and begins sucking his dying grandfather's cock.
I diall 911 and call for the paramedics who revive my father-in-law and
then take turns fucking my daughter and eating the menses and shit out
of her tight cunt.
Once he's conscious we all assemble in a large circle holding hands and
chanting gibberish before launching into a rousing group impression of
'A Downs Syndrome' perspective on the horrors of the holocaust, 9/11 and
the bombing of Pearl Harbor.
As we're moaning and screaming, my son runs off-stage to get the family
dog. The dog runs over to my crippled mother-in-law and begins peeing on
her. Once the dog finishes leaving her in a puddle of piss, my daughter
stops blowing the paramedics to light the dog on fire.
The dog yelps and howls before collapsing. My son runs over to fuck the
burnt corpse while screaming, "White is right!"as my daughter begins
goose-stepping around the stage, squeezing shit out of her cunt and
offering Nazi salutes to the audience.
My father-in-law begins raping my father, claiming that he's doing it
for the forgotten Vietnam vets and POWs. My mother puts my crippled
mother-in-law on her shoulders as I put my wife on my shoulders and we
play a game of naked chicken.
Once my son finishes fucking the dead dog. He takes the pieces of the
piano bench and begins crucifying the corpse. Once the dog is hung like
jesus, he begins weeping at the foot of the cross, saying, "Why my god
have you forsaken me?"
My daughter mounts the top of the crucifix, using it as a wooden dildo.
My parents, my in-laws and my wife join hands at the center of the stage
and start singing "The Hills Are Alive With The Sound Of Music"
I grab the lawn darts and shove one up everyone's ass before heading
back to the piano to finish off the show with a rendition of Freebird."
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he
manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"
--
-Bob
"My fault,my failure, is not in the passions I have,but in my lack of
control of them."
-J. Kerouac
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of
us left.
-Oscar Levant